One Year Away From Thirty: Oz and Willow Reunite in SF
by GeorgiaUnicorn
Summary: What would happen if Oz and Willow reunited in San Francisco, California, eleven years after the destruction of the initial Sunnydale High School, when both of them are soon to turn 30? As an added twist, Willow just got out of a relationship with Ana Lucia from LOST. Which one will she ultimately choose? Is our first love sometimes the right one?
1. Chapter 1

**One Year Away from 30: Willow and Oz Reunited in San Francisco, CA**

 **Chapter One: Oz**

 _San Francisco, California, in 2010_

I haven't been to San Francisco in years, but I love this city. It seems like the perfect place to get a fresh start, which is exactly what I need right now. I've found the perfect place to live, between The Mission and Noe Valley. This Mission has an alternative, eclectic vibe about it that I like. Noe Valley is full of hills, bookshops, and coffee shops with good music. How can I go wrong here? Maybe I can even get another band together here. If there's any region of the country where a dude who's one year away from 30 can get a band together, it's the West Coast, Left Coast.

Tibet didn't work out the way I had hoped, when it was all said and done, but the later years calmed down the werewolf in me. And that year in Seattle, well, that's a year I would rather forget. It's time for me to move on.

It's ironic that sometimes, to move forward, we have to go back to where it all started. I'm back in my home state, where I first started morphing into a werewolf and my life "got flipped, turned upside down", as Will Smith rapped when I was a kid in elementary school. But at least I'm in a different part of the state this time, which is good, because I sure as hell don't want to live in LA, and I'm not sure I'm ready to see the huge hole in the ground that was once my hometown of Sunnydale, California. Having my high school attacked by hell creatures and burned to the ground is not an experience I enjoy remembering. But, then again, most of us have memories of high school that suck.

But there was one good part of high school and my few early college days that was good. Well, one person to be exact—Willow. How fitting that my first true love has a name from one of my favorite books from childhood, _The Wind in the Willows._ Yeah, I know it might be dumb of me to think I can rekindle things with my first love from just over a decade ago, especially since I know she's taken a few trips down lady lover lane since then. But I have to try. We've taken chances on each other before, so why not do it again? Plus, most of us have that someone, that person who might have worked out if one or two things had been different. If I try and it doesn't work out this time, I'll know without a doubt that it's because we weren't meant to be together as romantic partners, rather than circumstances gone awry.

Of course, reaching out to Willow means reopening old wounds from my past. But some wounds need to be tended to and re-dressed, even years later, if they're going to fully heal.

So yes, I have her number, and yes, I'm going to call her. I just need to take a few deep breaths first.


	2. Chapter 2

1

**Chapter Two: Willow**

Of all things, I didn't expect Oz's number to pop up on my screen during the mental health day that I took from work. Is he in town? Does he want to catch up?

I've heard through the grapevine that he's single again, and I'm not quite sure what that means for me. I loved him, I still love him, and a part of me will always love him. But I'm not sure if I feel up to talking to him again while I'm still trying to get over Ana Lucia. I really need to take that picture down from my mantle, but she just looks so hot in her police uniform. I know Danny, her ex-husband, liked her in it too.

I mean, I know the break-up wasn't anyone's fault. She was still trying to overcome the PSD she experienced from the traumatic experiences of losing her unborn baby in a tragic shooting, a plane crash, and being exported to a mystical island outside of our time frame. Who wouldn't have a hard time getting over those things? I don't think I've ever fully recovered from my high school being attached by hell demons and burned down, or my lover Tara being tragically shot. I think that's part of why Ana Lucia and I connected. We both have had very mysterious past experiences that we're trying to recover from. But, when it was all said and done, we just couldn't be steady enough for each other.

But who else would understand these strange instances of my life, or be able to come to terms with my witch tendencies? There's only one person who might, and that's Oz. I loved Ana Lucia, and I loved Kennedy too, and there are other people for whom I've had strong feelings. But Oz has been my only true soul mate, besides Tara. How strange that I met both of mine when I was so young. That just doesn't happen to a lot of people.

OK, deep breath. Time to listen to the message.

"Hey Willow, it's Oz. I'm in San Francisco, at least for a while. Give me a call when you get this. Thanks."

He sounds nervous, and this message is a little cryptic. But, then again, that's Oz for you. You know what, why not call him back?

What's the worst thing that can happen? I get my heart broken again?

If so, then I've already endured worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Oz**

Here I am at Martha and Bros. Coffee Company, waiting on Willow. I was a lot less nervous the first time I asked her out in high school, since I was pretty sure she was going to say yes that time. It helped that I was a cool guitar player in the band back then. Now, I am a computer programmer trying to get gigs. Not as sexy now, but since Willow is apparently a program analyst who might still practice witchcraft, she might dig the newer me too.

And she just walked in. She looks exactly the same as she did in high school: strawberry red hair, dove skin, just taller than me, slender. Some people just don't age. She just sported the giddy Willow smile. That's a relief. Maybe she will give me another chance.

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't left her back in college, even though I thought I was doing so for the right reasons. It's funny how one decision can change everything that happens afterwards. The domino effect is real, and sometimes, things don't just bump; they crash.

"Hey," she says, with genuine enthusiasm, as she plops her hippie flower purse on the floor. She definitely has the same scent, perfume and all. The werewolf in me is asleep, but not dead.

"I got you a drink," I say as I gesture toward the steamy mug in front of me. I hope vanilla chai with almond milk is still her favorite.

She smells it. "You remembered." She smiles a little wistfully. Score one for Oz. She gestures toward my own mug with her left hand, "iced black coffee, no sugar, no cream?"

"Always and forever." Because no matter how confusing and unpredictable life can be, some things just…are. It's taken me almost 30 years to realize that change can be good, but some of the best things in life remain steady.

There's a silence, but it doesn't feel awkward. It feels more like we're taking each other back in, like fresh-ground coffee after a long, deep sleep.

"So…what brings you to San Francisco?" Ah, she throws down the gauntlet.

You, is what I'm thinking, but I can't exactly say that…yet.

"Well, uh, I got a new job as a programmer at Apple. Plus, I was ready for a new city, a new life, a fresh start, y'know?"

"Which is why you reached out to your old girlfriend from a city of ours that literally burned down to the ground." She tilts her head and smiles. We both crack up at the irony, although our laughs have an awkward high-pitched quality to them. What happened in Sunnydale is funny now, in some ways. But our eyes tell each other that it still haunts us both.

"What are you doing the rest of the day," she asks, not trying to hide her enthusiasm. She's not the shy high school girl anymore, I can tell.

"You tell me." And my answer is earnest. I would go anywhere in the world with this woman.

"Well, good, because there's something I really want to show you."


	4. Chapter 4

4

**Chapter Four: Willow, a Cop, and a Werewolf**

Ah, perfect timing. The sun is just beginning to set. Hopefully, by the time we get off the subway, Oz will have the perfect view of San Francisco from Twin Peaks. The more I'm around him, the more I want him to love San Francisco as much as I do, for many reasons.

As usual, the banter with Oz is fun. He talks about wanting to form a band here. I wonder if I'll be his groupie girl again, the way I was back in the old days at The Bronze. Oh gosh, I think I'm falling for him again. I didn't think that would happen. Since Oz, most of the people I've fallen in love with have been women. At first, it was a woman, Tara, just like it was a man, Oz. For me, it's about the person. I'm beginning to fall for this person all over again: the way he smells, the goofy smile, the eyes that are huge with wonder and experiences of a world from a whole different perspective. I don't think I even realized how much I missed him. I thought it was all a done deal when I found out he got married in Tibet. I guess that didn't turn out to be the case.

But oh, what am I going to do about the Ana Lucia problem? Not something I want to think about right now.

"Here we are!" I say almost too enthusiastically. Twin Peaks at sunset. What can be more beautiful than that? If there's anything I've learned about Oz and me, it's that even when it's complicated, it's also beautiful.

"Wow," he says, "I can see why you wanted to bring me here. It's….almost magical seeming."

"Well, and that's a big deal, coming from either one of us!" A werewolf and a witch; what can be more magical than that?

"I could stay up here all day," he says. "Especially with you."

I feel like someone just sucked all of the air out of my stomach, but in a good way.

"Uh, but what about, uh, that woman you met in Tibet…."

"Bayarmaa? Ah yes, I loved her, I really did. But she wanted a kid, and that just….wasn't something I was ready for, you know? I'm not sure if I ever want to have kids. I just wonder if it would be fair to, you know, pass along some of my..tendencies…"

"I understand," I say, and I do. Me with my addiction to magic, my fluid sexuality, my…..witchiness? I wasn't sure who would want to be with me long term, and I had not even entertained the idea of kids. "I'm not sure I want kids either." There's a tinge of sadness in my voice that even I can here. When you're a woman, especially a Jewish woman, you feel a certain obligation to have kids, to pass along your lineage. My parents haven't been the most attentive ones in the world, but they're both mega smart, and they gave me some good genes. Plus, it would be nice to have more Jewish people in the world after what happened in the Holocaust, even if one was the son or a daughter of a former witch.

Suddenly, his arms are around me, and I instinctively rest my head on his shoulder that rests just a little below my head. I feel protected in a way that I haven't in a long time. As a feminist, a part of me wishes that I didn't feel comfort in feeling that way, but I do.

"I know I wouldn't mind having another little Willow in the world," he says. He smells the same as he did all those years ago. It's like…home."

"And I wouldn't mind another you. But, uh, one thing at a time."

We both laugh, a little nervously, and turn back around. "Hey look, the sun is really setting now! You can see the city at its most beautiful."

"Yeah," he says nodding. "I love it even more now. An amazing view with one of my favorite people."

"So, I'm still your favorite, huh?" I say in almost a teasing voice. "There was no one else after Bayarmaa?" Well, I don't believe that for a minute, but this is a gentle way of prodding.

"Well, there was this girl I met in Seattle named Claire. She was amazing. In fact, she kind of reminded me of you, only with an Australian accent." He gently rubbed my shoulder. "But then, she got back with her old boyfriend Charlie. He was kind of a stoner, but he was getting help. Plus, they had been through a lot of weird shit together, a really tough plane crash and all. So I backed off." He sounded sad about it, but also like he had come to a point of resolution. Some things just aren't meant to work out.

"Interesting, my last girlfriend Ana Lucia survived a plane crash too. But, that's a story for another night." I'd rather talk about Ana Lucia as little as possible right now. It did not fall out well, but she's an amazing woman. And when is she going to come over and get the rest of her shit? She's been ignoring my texts about it. It's kind of childish, really. I know it's hard, but we both need to find some closure at this point.

"This kind of reminds me of the old days, you know, that point up at the top of Sunnydale?" Oz winks at me. My mind comes right back to where we are, Twin Peaks at sunset. It's perfect.

"That place where Buffy used to hunt vampires and other creatures of the night?"

Oz laughs. I guess every love spot has its downfalls.

"By the way, it's not a full moon tonight, so…"

"So, we can stay out as late as we want! But honestly, Willow, we could even if it wasn't a full moon. I hardly ever change anymore."

"Good for you!" I say, proud of him. "And I stay off of magic, for the most part, unless it's absolutely necessary."

"So, that means we can look at the stars, up here at Twin Peaks. And then, maybe grab a bite to eat somewhere?"

"Yes," I say, "Unless you want to come back to my place and make dinner together?"

We get back to my place, laughing about old memories with the Scooby gang. I wonder how they're all doing, the ones that are left at least, after all the drama we've faced.

Wait a minute, why are the lights already on? I swear I turned them off. A weird and palpable vibe goes through the room. Someone is here, and this someone doesn't especially like the sound of our laughter.

Ana Lucia.

"Uh, hi," I say, not exactly knowing how to respond to this situation. Awkward seems like a bit of an understatement. And I forgot that she still has a key. Of course. Maybe it's time to get the locks changed.

"Well, good evening Willow, and gentleman caller. I came to get the rest of my stuff." And indeed she did, as boxes are full of what she had left here. Her voice is like steel. I wonder if this is how she talks to people while they're under arrest.

Oz and I look at each other, not really knowing what to say. Ana Lucia doesn't like long silences, though, so she's quick to chime in.

"Well, well, you sure don't waste any time, do you, Red? I mean, we've been broken up for less than a month, and you're already bringing someone else home? I mean, COME ON! Am I that unimportant to you? Am I that easily replaceable? And by a MAN, nonetheless? What happened to you being a lesbian?"

"Um, well, I am most of the time. But I'm sometimes attracted to men too. Especially this one…."

"Huh, yeah, it sure does appear that way. I mean, why didn't you tell me that? You're such a hypocrite. I was MARRIED to a MAN, and you knew that, yet you didn't tell me about your past." Yikes, I wish she wouldn't yell so loud. The neighbors might hear her.

"It hurt too much," I say, sounding like a deflated pancake. Tara died, which was horrible, but she didn't leave me by choice. Oz did. In some ways, that was worse. Both of my soul mates left me, just in different ways. I thought Ana Lucia could take their place, and she tried, but she just couldn't. Then again, I don't think I ever took her husband Danny's place either.

She sounds really angry, and I don't blame her. I did lie to her, and I shouldn't have. But I don't like to talk about my childhood, including high school. I feel like my life didn't really start until I got to college. I just hope she doesn't completely lose her shit, like she did that one time.

"Um, hi Ana Lucia, I'm Oz. I'm Willow's….old friend from high school." He extends his hand, but I can tell from his face that he's afraid she's going to bite it off.

"Yeah, you guys seem really friendly." Her voice sounds bitter and ice cold. Then, a thought seems to cross her mind. "Wait a minute, Oz. Were you in Seattle before you were here?And do you play guitar?" Her body language is aggressive, hands on her hips, standing tall. She sounds like a cop doing an inquisition. I start to feel nervous for Oz.

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"OH MY GOD! You're the Oz who tried to take Claire away from Charlie!"

Oz looks genuinely shocked, and terrified. "It wasn't like that, I swear! THEY WERE ON A BREAK!" He sounds very defensive, the way Ross and Rachel always did on friends when they had to tell people they were on a break to avoid being accused of cheating. "And how on earth do you know them?"

"Huh, funny you should ask. Well, we crashed on a plane together and ended up on an island in a dimension that's, shall we say, not quite our own. So needless to say, we have the kind of bond that lasts into eternity."

"Hmm, well, that explains some things." Oz's voice seems to calm down.

"So, you believe me?" Ana Lucia sounds incredulous. "I mean, people often haven't in the past. I only let it slip this time because I was pissed. Normally, I've been trying to keep it to myself, so people won't make me go to the white coat doctor asylum."

"Um, Ana Lucia," I can hear how soft and meek my voice sounds. "There are some things I haven't told you about my high school years."

"Huh, I think that's a bit of an understatement, Will. Well, that's okay. Sometimes, you have to keep your past quiet, especially when it involves magic and shit that some people don't even believe in." Her mind drifts off a bit, but she sounds less pissed now. "Well, I'm um, going to go now. Willow, I hope it works out for you." She sounds sad, but also like she understands, to a degree. Maybe one day, I'll take her out for a drink and explain some things. But I don't think that day will be soon. I think we both need time to heal.

"Bye, Ana Lucia."

"Goodbye, Willow," she says, not looking back, carrying the remains of her stuff in her arms. The door shuts behind her hard, and she doesn't even try to catch it.

Oz looks bewildered, but not upset. "Um, I would have said it was nice to meet her, but it didn't seem appropriate at that moment."

I nod, walking over to the door to make sure it's bolted. Hopefully, she won't come back, at least not for a while, until we've all cooled off a bit. Worse case scenario, I currently have a werewolf in the house.


	5. Chapter 5

3

**Chapter Five: Oz, Seattle, Music, and the Hellmouth**

Whoa, that was intense. Ana Lucia seems like a very intense woman. But then again, pretty much every one in Willow's life that I have had the pleasure, or the discomfort in this case, of meeting has an intense personality. That's just the way she lives her life. That's one of the many things I love about her.

"Sorry about that, " she seems embarrassed and averts her eyes.

"No, it's fine. I mean, you don't get to be our age without having some baggage from past relationships. I don't have an unmarred past either." I squeeze her arm as a sign of affirmation. "But, why didn't you ever tell her about me?" Yeah, I definitely didn't hide the hurt in my voice there. But it's okay; it's Willow. I'm sure she understands. I don't have to put up a macho façade around her. Maybe she didn't know how her girlfriend would feel about her dating a man in the past, even though she clearly did too. Who knows.

"Well, honestly, it was mainly because I felt like the story about what happened to Tara was enough for her to swallow. That was hard enough, without also explaining that you left freshman year of college because you transformed into a werewolf every full moon and had trouble controlling your werewolf tendencies." I can tell she doesn't want to talk much more about Tara right now, and I know not to press it. This isn't the right moment.

"Yeah, I can understand why that would be hard to tell someone, although the story about the plane crash and their time on the island is pretty fucking weird, from what I know of it, at least. After going through that, she just might have believed you. And wow, it's really weird that she was on the plane with Claire and Charlie. It seems almost serendipitous that we have that common connection."

"It is pretty weird. I'm not really sure what to make of it." She pauses, clearly wondering if she should continue. "So, what exactly happened between you and Claire, if I may ask." She gestures toward the couch, and we both plop down appropriately. It's the kind of story that's better told sitting down.

Ah Claire, who went from being the most important part of my life to the bane of my existence in a short period of time. She's why I stayed in Seattle for almost two and a half years, and she's also why I had to leave.

I sigh, "well, after I left Tibet and not long after I moved to Seattle, I met Charlie and Claire. Charlie and I played music together, and Claire was his girlfriend at the time. Over time, we all got to know each other and became friends. Then Charlie's drug habit got the better of him, and he was still having some PTSD from what all happened to them on that weird island in the middle of…nowhere. Claire was too, but she was handling it better than he was. So Charlie went to rehab for a while, and he told Claire, to be fair, that she wanted her to visit, him but that she was free to date other people while he was gone because he didn't know how long he'd be in rehab. And he asked me to look after her while she was gone."

Willow nods, in a very kind and non-judgmental way. I was afraid it would sound weird, but compared to some of what she experienced while continuing to work with Buffy and the new slayers, it probably doesn't sound like much of a soap opera.

"So I did, as promised. There were other girls who I dated, but no one who was super special. She and I were spending a lot of time together, since we had mutual friends and all. I was lonely because I was fairly new in town, and she was lonely because she missed Charlie. And then, it just kind of happened."

"Did Charlie ever find out about it?"

"We told him, but not until he was back and fully recovered. He wasn't angry at us, but he was surprised, and he was hurt. Fortunately, though, he forgave us both. He knew he was out of sorts and not very emotionally available for a while. But it became pretty obvious pretty quickly that Claire was going back to Charlie and I was out of the picture." I can hear the bitterness in my voice, but I should have known. Getting stranded on a magic island in another dimension together is history I just couldn't compete with. "They just seemed so right for each other, and they had been through a lot together. I knew I needed to back up, but it was weird, since we played music together and hung out in the same circles. Plus, I really was happy for them, but…I just couldn't bear seeing them together all the time."

"I can understand that," chimes in Willow's voice, sounding sympathetic. Even the sound of it comforts me.

"So I left town, and well, here I am."

"I'm glad," says Willow, smiling.

In spite of how things just went down tonight, I am too.

"Me too. So, I think we should rain check on cooking tonight. I'm a little tired for that. Is there a good Chinese take-out place nearby?"

Willow grins ear to ear, "I think we should order Sprig. It's really good farm fresh food, and it comes to your door in about twenty minutes. Welcome to San Francisco!"

"Well, I just might have to stay here for a while," I wink at her. "I sure as hell don't plan to return to Sunnydale anytime soon! I still can't believe what happened to that place, by the way. I think I'd have to see it to believe it." Just thinking about it gives me the shivers, and I'm pretty sure it would even if I had my fur coat on. I'm just glad most people were able to get out before the worst happened.

"You know, I haven't been back since it all went down. I felt like it would be too hard, to emotional." Willow clicks the computer a few times, ordering our food. "So…this might seem weird, and I know we've unloaded a lot on each other tonight. But would you want to go back there tomorrow with me? If there's anyone I can face it with, it's you." Her eyes look pleading, almost as if she's begging me for something.

"Well, I never have been able to say no to that face, and plus, I think I do need to see it to believe it. So it sounds like our first Sunday adventure together will be…the Hellmouth."

We both laugh at the irony.

"Hopefully, though, it will be the first of many," says Willow.

It seems as though we're on the same page. It's nice, after so much being unsure with Claire for so long, and the few other women I've met since my divorce who come even close to Willow.

I stretch across the couch, letting my head rest in her lap. "So, wanna watch a movie? I never did see that Can't Hardly Wait movie that was big when we were in high school, and somehow, it seems appropriate tonight."

Willow laughs. "Yeah, I can't hardly wait to see the hole in the ground that used to be out hometown."

"Well, my dear, I can't hardly wait to spend a day with you," I say, pulling her into a full embrace. And that's true, but a part of me wonders how I'm going to react to the huge hole in the ground. But if there's anyone I can face it with, it's Willow. In fact, I think we both need to face it, together.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: Willow**

On the road we are to Sunnydale! I did not think this was how I'd spend my Sunday. Oz stayed over last night, but we literally just went to sleep together, rather than "sleeping together." I think Ana Lucia kind of spoiled our mood. Plus, Oz has never been pushy about these things. He's always let it happen naturally and when it felt right, which is one thing I like about him. But it sure was nice to wake up to French press coffee and him making both of us eggs and toast.

We're headed south in my red VW beetle. I don't drive it much during the week, since public transit in San Francisco is good, but it's perfect for days like today, when we head south. It'll be a long day, but hopefully, Oz will make it seem shorter. Plus, he'll get to see some of the awesome water views and hills of San Francisco as we leave the city.

"We'll definitely have to stop at In-N-Out Burger as we leave the city," I tell Oz. "Unless, of course, you've become a vegetarian."

"Nope," he replies. "And that sounds like a plan. I haven't had In-N-Out Burger in forever. The things that happen when one becomes a Cali expatriate."

I nod. "You know, I just can't stop thinking about your friend Charlie. I hope he's doing better now. I can relate to what he went through, with my magic addiction and all." I know Oz wasn't really around when I was going through all of that, but we've stayed in touch over the years just enough to where he knew about it.

"I think he's doing better. We're still talking occasionally. Some days are better than others, but I think rehab really helped him, and music gives him a good outlet. I'm not sure he'll be able to stay in Seattle, though, since a lot of his friends there gave him easy access to drugs." Oz stops, ponders for a minute. "We'll just have to see. Claire's keeping an eye on him, so hopefully it'll be fine."

"I'd really like to meet them. They sound like really nice people." I just hope Claire isn't super pretty, but I won't reveal that to Oz just yet. I don't want to seem too jealous, even though I am. I can't help wondering, is he over her? And am I really over Ana Lucia? It has only been about a month since Ana Lucia and I split, and I feel terrible that she knows I'm already moving on to someone else. But there's no way I could have anticipated that my ex-boyfriend from high school and early college would show up in San Francisco. Sometimes, life just happens in ways we don't expect it to.

I'm loving this time with Oz. I just hope we're not only going back to each other because we're both on the rebound. I've read articles about this, and some say that finding one relationship to replace another can actually be a healthy thing. But we need to be able to talk about losing Ana Lucia and Claire, and the others that came before them. Otherwise, we can't really trust each other. Sometimes, I feel jealous of those people who just stayed with the person who they met as a teenager. There's less baggage that way, less heartache. Then again, if Oz and I hadn't gone our separate ways, both of us never would have had the experiences we had, which make us who we are.

"Uh…Willow?" Oh gosh, Oz has been talking, and I totally haven't been listening.

"Oh gosh, Oz, I'm so sorry. My mind was…somewhere else."

He laughs. "That's cool. Just don't get us lost on the way to the Hellmouth."

"I'll do my best."

We both laugh. "I was just saying maybe Charlie and Claire could come down and visit, sometime, when the dust settles a bit and I'm more moved into my place."

"I'd like that," I say, and I mean it.

"So, what were you thinking about?" He looks like he really does want to know, not like he's only asking to be polite.

"Just about the past. I'm happy that I had what I had with Tara, in spite of what happened. But there are times when I wish, you know, we hadn't ever split apart."

Oz's face suddenly gets grim, seriously. "I know. I realize it was my fault. I'm sorry, I really feel bad about what I did to you in college."

I shake my head. "It's okay, really. We were both in a different place then, and the werewolf in you took over. I understand that now, even though I was devastated when you left. And in a weird way, I think I needed to go through what I did with Tara, and Kennedy, and well…other experiences." I don't think I need to elaborate more than that. "Plus, if we had stayed together, I don't think I could have helped Buffy as much as I did with the new slayers. So in a weird way, I think we needed that time apart, you know? It was harder that way, but I think it was worth it in the long run."

Oz nods. "I get it. I can't say I regret going to Tibet, even though it didn't work out with Bayarmaa and me. It taught me how to both embrace and control the wolf, you know? And I think I've been more centered since I got back.

I nod. "I think we should just take it slow, you know? I mean, after all, we both just got out of intense relationships with people who got exported to a mystical island on another dimension. That probably took a toll on us both."

Oz laughs, "God, that's so weird. I can't believe we both know people who were on that bizarre plane crash. I'm glad they came out of that whole situation okay, though, even though they have their scars from it. And maybe, you know, maybe we needed to be in their lives because we've been through some weird shit too, and we would understand in a way some people wouldn't…. I don't know. I've never been a Bible thumper, or a super religious kind of person. But sometimes, I feel like the universe…."

"Takes care of us," I finish his sentence. "Honestly, I haven't always felt that way. Things were dark after Tara died, really dark. That's the worst I've ever felt in my life. And that teasing I went through as a kid, that was awful too."

"I'm sorry." He holds my arm, stroking it gently to try to comfort me.

I pause. "It's okay, though, I got to high school, and it got better. Buffy came, and she was willing to stick up for me and to help me make new friends. In fact, she was the one who encouraged me to go over and talk to you, that first day you asked me out." I looked over at him and smile.

"That makes sense," he nods. "How is she doing, by the way? I haven't talked to her in a long time."

"She's great! She's working for the police department in Los Angeles as a detective and dating a really nice guy who's a half demon."

"That sounds like her," Oz says. "There was this TV show that Bayarmaa and I used to watch with this blond girl detective who kind of reminded me of Buffy, only she wasn't a slayer. The name is escaping me…."

"Veronica Mars! Yes, I love that show." It's getting to where he can say his ex-wife's name without me cringing. She is, after all, all the way back in Asia, or so it appears.

"Yeah cool. And what happened to the rest of the Scooby Gang?"

"Giles moved back to London. He got a little scared after Angel, well, went all Angelus again and almost killed him. So he's back in England now. I might try to go and visit him again at some point."

"Good guy, Mr. Giles. And what about ole Xander? I'm so sorry all of that happened with his eye."

"Yeah, that was horrible." Even to this day, I don't like to remember that incident. "He moved to New York, and he's actually doing quite well with his stand up comedy. And he gets an acting gig from time to time. He's another one I want to visit, even though the flights to the East Coast aren't cheap."

"Good for him," Oz says. "I'm glad he finally found his way."

"I always knew he would." I can't help laughing. "I can't believe I used to have a crush on him. He's one of my best friends, and I love him dearly, and I literally owe my life and the fate of the world to him. But I just don't feel that way about him anymore."

"Well, that's a relief." Oz does look relieved. A lot has happened since high school, but I know he'll never forget when I kissed Xander while we were dating. Fortunately, we both seem to be able to let water flow under the bridge.

Thankfully, the exit sign to In-N-Out Burger looms ahead. "All right, time to fuel up on gas and fuel before we head on to the Hellmouth!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Oz**

I still remember the night I drove away from Sunnydale. Things hadn't worked out the way I had hoped, and I had not reunited with the loved one I came back for because while I was gone, she fell in love with someone else. Plus, I was being chased down by a sketchy group called "The Initiative" for being something that, at the time, was beyond my control. I had to leave; I had no choice. Still, I was sad, even angry at myself for not being able to control my tendencies and passions better. But a thought crossed my mind: maybe one day, I'll come back.

I was wrong.

Well, not entirely wrong. I am back a decade later, with the love I had to leave because I thought it was better for us both. Only, it's not the same Sunnydale I had known as a child. It is now a giant hole in the ground, probably bigger than the Grand Canyon, that seems impossible to recover or repair.

Wow, I definitely wasn't prepared for this. Willow warned me, I know, but I still could not have predicted that it would be this bad. Our school, the house I grew up in, the Bronze, all of our favorite hangout spots, all burned to the ground. It's getting harder to breath, and not just because it's warmer in Southern California. Ironically enough, Spike, who I always thought was kind of an asshole, was the one who ended up saving them all.

I wish the hero could have been me. Most of all, I wish I had been there, for and with my friends.

I know in a way it's messed up for me to think all of this. I'm a werewolf, not a champion. But I'm sorry that Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles had to endure all of this without me. I was always on the outer edge of their little Scooby gang because I was the significant other of one of the true group members; I knew that. But I still feel bad that I couldn't be there to help them. It seems wrong, in a way.

After we've been standing in silence for a good five minutes, Willow takes my hand, looks at me gently. "I know it's a lot to process. Do you want to talk about it?

My eyes still boggle. "I don't know what to say. I know you told me, but…I just wasn't prepared. I feel like all of our childhood and teen years are just, one big hole that got burned to the ground. Literally. I mean yeah, high school is hell. But it's still a hell you'd like to be able to come back to.

Willow nods. "Yeah, I mean for me, high school was hell at the beginning. But you, you and Buffy, you both made it so much better for me. And I didn't always like this town, but…." She starts to tear up.

I hold her, knowing that this time, I don't want to let her go. No matter what happens. I kiss her forehead and can feel her convulsing into sobs.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here with you." And I mean it. "But, I know no one could have handled it better than you, Buffy, Xander, and the rest of your friends. And because of it, many beautiful, strong Slayer women are still taking this world by the storm."

"It's just, I was in survival mode for so long after it happened. I just couldn't let myself feel, you know?"

"I think that's just how it is when something bad happens." I think about how numb I was after I left Tibet and ended things with Bayaarma, how playing music with Charlie brought life and a sense of self to me, and so did Claire, especially when we were…intimate. Sometimes, I regret those nights I spent with Claire, as I knew deep down I was sleeping with my good friend's girl, regardless of what he said when he left. But we brought each other back to life. I can't let it happen again, though. If I did, then two people I love would get hurt this time.

I can't keep hurting people, and I can't keep running away.

"So, I've decided that I want to stay in San Francisco for a while. I'm going to go talk to my landlord tomorrow and extend my lease to a full year."

Willow looks up, seems to calm down. "Really? That's….that's good news. I don't plan to go anywhere for a while either."

"That's what I want to hear. I feel like I've been running a lot since high school, trying to find a place that sticks with me, at least for a while. I'm hoping that San Francisco will be it. I'm sure it'll be better than the Hellmouth of Sunnydale. Hopefully, I'll steer clear of vamps who want to eat me."

Willow laughs softly. "Well, from what I've heard from Buffy, more of the bloodsucking vamps are in LA."

"Ha, that makes sense. Did Buffy know we were coming here today? Does she know I'm back?"

"I mentioned to her that I was meeting up with you this weekend, but she doesn't know what all has happened since then. And she has no idea that we're here. I'm not sure…she would have wanted to come. That time was rough on all of us, but I think it was hardest on her, y'know?"

"Yeah….I know."

Willow looks on for another minute. "I think I'm ready to go home."

"Then home we will go, my dear." Home is a place, a city. Right now, to me, it's also a person.

My phone buzzes with a new text. It's Claire. "Hey there, I miss you! Call me when you get a chance."

My stomach tightens up. I've kept in touch with Charlie since I left Seattle, but not much at all with Claire, except for a few very short emails. I'm not sure I want to keep talking to her. I'll respond to her. Not tonight, though.

Now, the sun is going down again, and this time, I'm riding to a new home with the woman who very well might turn out to be the love of my life. I don't know what the future holds for either of us, but I know I want to be with Willow. With her, I can face the dark holes of subdued fire, both the ones of our past and the ones still ahead.


End file.
